Project Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You, Day 3

On Thursday evening British guy and I set off to visit a friend of his who lives about 60 kilometers from Grenoble. Because it was already dusk when we set off, we elected to take the train most of the way there and then cycle the remaining distance to this friend's restored farmhouse near the Vercors. Except I forgot my light and had to cycle in the dark (Very bad idea. Don't do this.) So that was, um, exciting. To say the least.

We spent a lovely evening celebrating the birthday of an adorable little 4-year old girl. Man alive, that girl has got spunk. You can see it in her eyes that she'll never let fear dictate her life. I love it when I can add a 4 year old to my list of inspirational people.

The next morning British guy and I packed our things and set off to ride the 60 kilometers back to Grenoble. Except that he was going over the Vercors and I hadn't brought very warm cycling clothes which meant that the descent would be freezing and I would be a very unhappy camper. British guy however was set on that route so that left me to cycle an alternative route by myself.

gulp.

Here's what was running through my head:
1. I am going to get lost. I have a terrible sense of direction. Terrible. I would get lost in a paper bag. I honestly don't know how I manage to get anywhere. If I have a map, I'm generally okay but without one...forget it. I'll end up in Spain before I realize I've made a wrong turn.
2. I'm going to get a flat tire and I won't be able to change it. Embarrassing. I'll have to hitch a ride back to Grenoble (hey, it's been done before).
3. I'm going to crash in the middle of some town square in front of everyone (also been done before).

The cop-out option was just to take the train back, but....I decided to take on the challenge. I really wanted to go out for a nice long cycle, and there isn't always going to be someone to go with so...off I went.

And it was beautiful. Spectacularly gorgeous morning, nobody in sight, and crisp cool weather. I stopped at a bakery along the way and picked up a pain au chocolate which I ate alongside the river on the cycle path heading back to Grenoble.

I made good time and felt really empowered for having taken on an adventure that I wanted to do, but had been initially discouraged from taking on because of fear.

Nikki: 3
Fear: 0

Project Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You, Day 2

Yesterday's challenge was to send an e-mail in French to sign up for a potentially uncomfortably awkward social situation. I sent my e-mail, and then rewarded myself with an Oreo. I'm big on self-rewarding. Especially with Oreos. By 8:30 pm I still hadn't heard anything, and thought maybe the hike had been cancelled or there was no more space left, and that I would be off the hook. But then I received this e-mail:

Ok pour toi. Par contre, le rdv est avancé à 7h30 au local de l'ESMUG, vers la piscine universitaire.
Tu vois où c'est?
Si problème téléphone moi <---(HAHA. Telephone someone. In French. That's funny)


In case you didn't get that, it basically translates to: Ok for you to come. Meet at 7:30

Half excitement and half apprehension, I packed my stuff and set my alarm clock for 6:00 am (gulp).

Which leads me to today's one thing that scares me: go hiking with a group of people I'd never met before AND be required to speak French the entire time. Does that count for two? I think it should. No? Fine.

Here's why it scared me:

1. I'd have to get up at 6:00 am. Just kidding. Sort of.
2. I would have to speak French. The potential for making an idiot of myself substantially increases when I'm required to speak French.

And aside from a minor fear of falling to my death, that was it really.

Hm. Interesting that my fear of speaking French seems to supersede my fear of falling to my death.

I'll write about it in more detail tomorrow, but facing up to my anxiety paid off. I had an amazing time with some great people, enjoyed France's spectacular mountains, and stumbled my way through enough French to satisfy myself that yes, it is slow going, but I am learning a lot.

So today's tally is:
Me: 2
Fear: 0

Project Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You

Do one thing every day that scares you. -Eleanor Roosevelt

Truth be told, I'm afraid of most things. There's your standard fears: flying, heights, spiders, death. You know, the usual. Then there are my own personal fears....falling while cycling, falling while skiing, falling while climbing, just generally falling, making mistakes,  calling people, social situations, people judging me, speaking a language that isn't my own, not doing anything meaningful with my life, not being intelligent enough, good enough to do anything worthwhile. I battle with it constantly. Some days I'm more victorious than others. Small victories really. Other days I feel like staying in bed safely under my covers. Other people live safe lives. Why can't I? Because I'm afraid not to take risks...afraid that if I don't face up to my fears I will "face my death with the realization that I have not lived." (Thoreau)

So. I've decided to do one thing every day that scares me. Nothing new, I know. But I'm going to blog about it. See what happens. Document the process. Maybe it will be depressing, maybe it will be enlightening. One thing is for sure though and that's that it will definitely be entertaining.

Let's get this show started.

Today I have to write an e-mail in French to sign up for a hike that is taking place tomorrow. See, British guy has gone skiing with his friends on a trip that is way beyond my skiing level. To prevent me from sitting on the couch all weekend eating cheese and watching reruns of Friends, he got in contact with a friend of his who is part of a mountaineering club. The mountaineering club is going on a hike tomorrow and British guy asked if I could tag along. Now all I have to do is write and say that I do want to go and arrange a time to be picked up. That's the situation, and this is what it makes me want to do:

Please note: I did not do this to the cat (Oddball is his name). He wedged himself in-between the two pillows. Probably because he had to write something in French and would really have preferred to sit on the couch watching reruns of Friends. 

Here are the things I'm afraid of:
1. Potentially awkward social situation. I don't know any of these people.
2. Writing an e-mail in French. My command of the French language is shaky at best. Sure, I've improved a lot over the last few months, but I still feel like a complete idiot whenever I try to write/say anything. I could write in English, but that's sort of copping out isn't it?
3. Tomorrow I will have to speak French. All day. With people I don't know. It will be full of extreme awkwardness.

Cop-out option:
Don't write the e-mail and stay home instead.

Why I don't like that option: It's lame. I want to go hiking.

Ok. On-y-va.

I just sent an e-mail in the most rudimentary French EVER saying that I would like to go tomorrow.

I'll let you know how it goes. Funny how empowering doing such a small thing can be. I know most people don't think twice about these sorts of thing, but when you're afraid....something inconsequential often seems impossible.

Here's the recap:

• Time it took to getting around to sending e-mail: 2 days
• Time it took to actually write one-line e-mail: 5 minutes
• Time it took to work up the courage to send one-line e-mail: 15 minutes